Meami Craig blog
Dr. Meami Craig is a proud Rochester native and has been the on-air Lifestyles Editor on "Tony and Dee in the Morning" on WRMM-FM (101.3) for the past 12 years. A graduate of Harvard University with a doctorate in psychology, Meami is married and mom to two children in college. She is "fascinated by all things human" and is known for her down-to-earth attitude and sense of humor on the air. Listen to her from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. Tuesday and Thursday mornings on WRMM and call in live to tell her what you think. She can be emailed at meami_craig@yahoo.com.
What to do if your blended family is NOT like the Brady Bunch!
Go to any kid's Little League baseball game in America and besides a lot of cute kids in baseball caps running the bases you are also sure to see plenty of blended families cheering from the sidelines. When my kids were playing, it was at least 50% who had a stepmom or stepdad cheering them on--a great thing to see in terms of family support. The numbers may be growing; every day in America, 1,300 divorced men and women blend their families together. And they usually do NOT have a live in maid cooking them dinner like Alice did on the Brady Bunch either!
Step number one before all else to get things in harmony is for mom and dad to stand united, even when there is backtalk from the kids for doing so! Agree to disagree behind closed doors if you have to, but in front of the kids you are a team at all times. Cool off before discussing an issue as a family so mom and dad remain calm even if the insults are flying kid to kid. Also, never accuse anyone of anything; practice starting sentences with the word "I". Don't say, "You never get the kids to stop watching TV." Say instead, "I think we should make a family rule about how much time the kids spend watching TV."
Finally, there are some easy ways to bring any family closer--like talking when you are in the car after getting fast food together. Kids love to open up and share when they don't have to make direct eye contact, and use this as a way to get them to open up and confide. Or, as a family go out to get an ice cream together or make every Friday pizza and video night at your house--friends invited. Just so long as it is a ritual where the whole family is together, it will work. And never forget to take time for five before bedtime--just five minutes of reading a story to your toddler or talking about your day with your teen makes all the difference. Kids of all ages like to wind down and bond with mom and dad at the end of the day, so don't ever miss an opportunity to go for it!
What Your Child's Name Reveals About You!
Okay, I admit it, it took me three days to name my son and to two weeks to name my daughter! My son is J. Matthew Vasile Craig, and he goes by J. Matthew Craig for business and Matt Craig for anything else. My daughter is Courtaney Alexandra Vasile Craig (Vasile is my maiden name) and she goes by "Court" or "The Court" most of the time. Courtaney Craig--with the double C's illiteration--has proven to be an extremely popular name for her and she is going into broadcast journalism as a career which will serve her well--even though my husband almost killed me because she came home from the hospital unnamed except for "Baby Girl Craig" for a good two weeks when I could not make up my mind 19 years ago between Kelly, Kristan, Courtaney, or Marissa! In the end we incorporated the word "TAN" ito her first name after the anesthesiologist at the old Genesee Hospital because Dr. Mike Tan--her spiritual godfather who will dance at her wedding--delayed a trip home to CHINA to give me drugs to deliver her with! My son had been a difficult 9lbs. major pitocin NO DRUGS delivery three years before her, and I literally HIRED the anesthesiologist separate from my OB doc when I was only three months pregnant with her because I was NOT going to go through THAT again! We named her for Dr. Tan because we wanted her to turn out to be as kind as he is and it worked!
So what about you and the names you choise or are choosing for your child? If you choose a name like Suri as Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes did for their daughter, it means you are one of a kind, like the name. Choose an unusual name and it means you crave the spotlight and have strong opinions you are not afraid to share. This definitely sounds like Tom Cruise, the couch-jumping, self-proclaimed ADD expert that he is!
What abou a trendy, fashionable name like Jaden or Deacon? This shows you are extroverted, and giving your child an "in" name reveals you want your child to feel they always belong. And you will probably get your wish too since children with these "in" names are usually the most popular in school too.
Next, a unisex name means you are open minded, flexible and tolerant. Teri Hatcher named her daughter Emerson and Brooke Shields named her daugher Grier, meaning they want their kids to be creative and especially confident.
If you choose a classical name like Charles, Jack or Violet--like Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner did--it means you are down to earth. Folks with these traditional names--like Caroline as well--are perceived to be wholesome and friendly. Kids given these types of names work hard and play by the rules--and research shows parents who choose these classic names are the most involved in their child's school activities as well.
Finally, what if you choose a biblical name like Adam or Eve? Let's not forget Madonna's daughter Lourdes or Branjolina's baby Shiloh here either! This means you are confident, and
surprisingly, not overly religious. But you do have a strong attachment to the past and very definite opinions about what is right and what is wrong! This is your opportunity to share online what your name means to your what your child's name signifies about you...please do so, right here! Thanks!
Parents and Prom Night Fears
I've sent two both of my two kids to to the high school Junior Prom and Senior Ball--and have I got tales to tell you! If you are worried about sending your child to prom night at any age, you are not alone! A new survey by Harris Interactive and DaimlerChrysler reveals that most parents are far more worried about their child getting into a car accident on prom night than they are about their son or daughter having sex. In fact, a full 63% of the parents said their biggest worry on prom night involves driving, not sex, and that includes drinking and driving, reckless driving, or the risk of a car crash.
They--WE--all worry with good reason. Car crashes are actually the number one killers of teenagers. According to PR Newswire, in 2005, more than 450,000 teens were injured and more than 5,000 died in car accidents. And get this: ONE out of THREE 16 year-old licensed,
insured drivers were involved in a car accident.
So what's the solution: it's two things. First, TALK to the kids about these very statistics--chances are they will roll their eyes and say, "Yeah, I know..." but it can't hurt to do so and to tell them that you will pick them (or their friends) up from anywhere at anytime with no questions asked at any time on prom night (or anytime, that's what Bob and I did with our kids). Then follow through and do just that. The second part of the solution involves paying for a limo as a parent--it may cost you a couple hundred dollars, but think about the peace of mind you will have on prom night knowing your child is not driving around. It could literally save their lives.
Finally, if you really want to go all out, offer to host the post prom all nighter party at your house--make sure the limos are done for the night and the rule is that if there is anybody driving you collect all car keys and do not return them until the morning when everyone is clearly sober enough to drive home--you have to check that too because many kids drink all night on prom night, even if they are safely tucked away in the rec room of your home.
The ticket to prom night fun and not tragedy is to plan ahead--talk a lot together, hard as it might be--and keep the limo drivers busy!
Is Your Family Overscheduled?
Well it all starts with the right intentions: brother Bobby wants to play baseball, sister Suzie wants to play softball and of course baby brother Tommy has to soccer, right? WRONG! A whopping 41% of all American children in this country show signs of stress from having too much to do each day! Here are the key symptoms: they may feel sleepy during the day time, they may be quick to anger, complain of headaches or stomachaches, have trouble winding down for sleep at night, cry easily, often eat in the car or standing up, not to mention struggling to get themselves ready for the NEXT activity. These kids never have much time alone to just breathe and just be.
One local family I know needed one big giant time out for all of them, parents included! They have four kids and they were constantly on the run to soccer, drama club, swimming lessons, 4H--you name it. Each kid had more than one activity they were in plus church group, piano lessons--the whole litany. The toddler in the family spent every single afternoon locked in her car seat as mom ferried the older three here and there. Dinner frequently consisted of hot dogs or sandwiches--anything FAST--because after dinner mom had to go to meetings for soccer, dad was a scout leader or there was always the good ol' PTA! Eventually mom and dad even started snapping at each other more too but they were too busy balancing the entire family's tight rope act to even notice! It all ended one day when the oldest daughter, age 15, said tearfully to her mom: "I feel like I need to schedule an appointment just to talk to you!"
Everything changed from that moment on. They as a family got off the activities bandwagon
and each child was allowed to choose ONE and only ONE sport or extracrricular activity of any kind per week. YOU can adopt this same sanity saver scheduling rule for your family too, and when you do, you are likely to have less insomnia, fewer colds, better concentration, and more energy for every individual. Make some time for a regular sit down family dinner, choose something that is stress free to prepare, and you will reap immediate rewards--and priceless long term benefits too!
