Thursday, June 12, 2008
What Would You Do if You Could Live your Life Over?
There's some new research on this topic which is highly intriguing. Dr. Anthony Campolo, professor of sociology at Eastern College in St. David's, Pennsylvania, recently surveyed 50 people, all of them 95 years old and beyond, and asked them, "If you could live your life over, what would you do differently?" Their answers were surprising. It boiled down to three basic things:1. Reflect more about the meaning of life. They would lift up all the "stones" in their life that they left unturned and look carefully under them. This is why I am an advocate of therapy for individuals and families. Why suffer needlessly? Get help from a credentialed outsider and work it all out so you have your best chance for happiness. Me, I'm thinking of gong on a Buddhist retreat to offset the strict Catholicism I was raised with. All of the older people surveyed said they wish they had spent more time earlier in their lives contemplating their life, their work, their family much more. This is comforting to me, because as an adult I think things through so carefully I have to remind myself to have fun! The trick is to find a balance between the two, contemplation and action--and add a little of both to each day of life.
2. Risk more. Every single one of the 95 year olds and up said they did not regret the things they did as much as they regret the things they did not do. For example, as the age of 48 my husband left corporate work and started his own business and it has been a good thing. It's never too late! If you get a chance to go somewhere new for only a day, take it! Joan Rivers once said she had a chance to take a three day trip to Russia years ago and she took it even though all her friends said she was crazy to go all the way there f0r only three days. She went and had a marvelous time learning a lot about a new country! All the elders surveyed said they wished they had taken more chances in life. Do you have the courage to step out of your comfort zone? Make a list of the downside--all the possible bad consequences--and then decide if you are willing to risk all of them. Wait until you come to a place of peace in your heart about it, and the go for it, full force!
3. Do things that would outlast them. All of the elders wanted to feel as if their own individual life had counted for something--that they had made some kind of positive impact on the world that would outlive them. So go ahead and donate that money to charity today, not just "someday" in the vague future. Take a little kid fishing! My husband Bob acts as the "dad" to my two nephews Michael and Joey, ages 6 and 8, by going to all their school functions, ball games and doing an activity with them and him alone every single Saturday morning without fail. He brings them the same treat of chocolate donuts every Saturday morning, and then off they go on a new adventure! He is making a very positive difference in their lives that will live on in them long after he is physically gone from this earth. Spend an hour a week volunteering at a soup kitchen, or writing a book! Go to the library and take out a CD of music you've never heard before and listen to the whole thing! Think about all the ways you can start changing your life starting today, whether you are 25 or 95, so you'll die happy with no regrets! Feel free to post your own personal "kick the bucket list" right here. Thanks!
posted by meami craig at 8:49 AM
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