Rosa Smith-Montanaro blog

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Comfort food for those bittersweet days

Today was one of those bittersweet days, my daughter Rozetta had to go back to school today. She is an RA and attends a SUNY college, not far from home but resides there and today we moved into her new dorm. She is excited about her new role working with 40 students but is going to miss her friends from high school that she has been enjoying the summer break with.

I too am excited for her as well as the exceptional young adults she has as friends. I have enjoyed having them around the house and hearing about their adventures. I LOVE being a mom and having a house full of kids, it makes me smile inside to see them full of life and finding every excuse to laugh at themselves, each other and even me. You can tell, I was not ready to pack Rozetta up, the summer break ended too soon. I wanted a couple more weeks, fall is when kids go to school and my mind is conditioned to expect that, but college is different and I must adjust.

We took our traditional trip into town to buy some items for her barren room and then out for dinner and as I ordered my meal, I did something I NEVER do, I added a side of mac and cheese. My family looked at me like I said a bad word, I announced "I need some comfort food." Needless to say, they knew better than to disagree. Unfortunately it wasn't as comforting as I hoped, maybe I like the unhealthy, artery clogging kind out of the box, but I got it out of my system. Sometimes we need to indulge in comfort food and then get over it. There was a time in my life where that would have kicked off a binge, now it is an episode and I take a look at myself and what is going on in my life. I knew what was going on, I just didn't what to spoil my daughter joy, she is happy and I am happy for her as well. The realization that time as passed and my little girl is now a beautiful and independant woman does move me to tears. I am okay with tears, but was trying to manage it for the moment.

Once we dropped off Rozetta and I knew I could be honest with myself, I felt sad, I am going to miss that dramatic daughter of mine. I knew better than to return to comfort food, instead I talked to my husband about my feelings, called my mother, wrote in my journal, took a hot bubble bath and just let myself feel sad. I believe we should experience our feelings. There are so many ways to comfort ourselves, the important thing is to take the time to take care of you during those bittersweet days.

I called Rozetta to say "good night" and she has made friends and already has plans to watch a movie this evening. All is well, even though I still feel a bit sad, I already feel better. Hearing how happy she sounded and that she has adjusted so well coupled with my validating my feelings lifted my mood and reassured me that she is exactly where she needs to be. We are all where we need to be in life.

posted by MindOverPlatter at 9:27 PM